Daybreak parody
by Twicullenfan96
Summary: This is a parody of my fanfic Daybreak. Basically Bella reads twilight and she does some pretty weird things with her future... Rated T for a little bit of bad language
1. Chapter 1

I was walking through the romance aisle of some bookstore I don't know where when I found twilight. It had an apple on it. I wanted to eat that apple, so I bought it. _Thank you pale handed person! _I thought.

I bought it and met my mom in another aisle. Ya that's right Im at the mall with my mom.

I read it. Hmmm this book is about me... AWESOME!

So I moved to Forks, bla bla bla... then I met Edward in Biology.

"Yo! What's up Eddyvamp!?" I said to Edward.

"Um nothing... Did you just say EddyVAMP?"

"Uh, ya... you are a vampire... duh!"

"How did you know that?"

"From this book! It's called Twilight! See... Oh... It says Rosalie and Alice die."

"WHAT!? HOW!?"

"I beat the crap out of them."

"Why!? What did they do to you!?"

"Rosalie hates me and Alice wants to take me shopping. I hate shopping and people that hate me."

I didn't notice, but everyone in the classroom was staring at us. I guess we were yelling... ooops....

"Get to work Twilight Peoples!!" I yelled, then fell backwards and hit my head on the desk behind me. Then I passed out. Stupid Desk.

A/N Hey guys!! I nkow this story might be kind of stupid... and you might not get it unless you read daybreak... but please review even if they are bad reviews :D


	2. I meet Bob

**A/N Hi ppls! If you haven't read Daybreak, don't read this!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight but a certain person does *cough* Stephenie *cough* Meyer *cough***

I opened my eyes to a luscious purple field with unicorns roaming and a yellow sky with blue sun. _Weird…._ I thought. I ran over to a unicorn and it started talking to me.

"Hi, I'm Edward, but you can call me Bob." He said.

"Hi Bob," I greeted him, "I'm Bella, but you can call me um… Susannilla," I said with a smile.

"That's an awesome name! Want to ride on my back?" He asked. I nodded my head and we rode into the green sunset.

I woke up from my dream and Edward was standing over me.

"Hi Bob!" I said, "Oops, I mean Edward."

"Hello Bella."

"That's Susannilla! Oh never mind…."

I lifted my hand to thump myself on the forehead when I realized that there was soething holding my arm down. That's weird.

After about an hour or so of thinking and listening to an annoying beeping noise, I realized I was in a hospital. Oh! That beeping must be the heart monitor!

I thought that as the nurse came in and she looked at me like I was crazy. I must've said that out loud. Then she gave me more pain meds and I fell asleep yet again. My last thought was, _I'm coming back Bob!_

**A/N sorry that was such a short chapter I didn't know what to write… ANYWAY! Reviews make me happy and I write better when Im happy so if you want longer, better chapters, REVIEW!!!!**


	3. AN

**A/N I'm trying to be as polite as possible here, but I'm not getting any reviews and I'd like it if you guys would please review. I like reviews they're what keeps me updating. If you want more updates, then please PLEASE review. I don't know if you guys like it or not, so if you don't like it, I can take it. Just review saying you don't like it. same thing if you DO like it. review, add me to your favs or story alerts, ANYTHING as long as i know you like it. I'm thinking of deleting this story, so if you don't want me to do that, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!! **

** ~ TwiCullenFan96**


	4. Annoying Edward

**A/N: Yo ppls!! Hey guess what!? I updated!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, but I do own the idea 4 daybreak...**

_After about an hour or so of thinking and listening to an annoying beeping noise, I realized I was in a hospital. Oh! That beeping must be the heart monitor!_

_I thought that as the nurse came in and she looked at me like I was crazy. I must've said that out loud. Then she gave me more pain meds and I fell asleep yet again. My last thought was, _I'm coming back Bob!

I woke up in the hospital and Edward was still there. He's like a statue. Like a gorgeous, delicious, kissable, statue. Edward started laughing.

"Hey! I thought you couldn't read my mind!" I yelled at Edward.

"I can't... you said that out loud..." He said cautiously.

"I bet I know how to annoy you."

"How?"

"I lost... the game! Mwa ha ha!!"

"Dammit! I forgot about that for 100 years! Now _I _lost the game!" He exclaimed. "Damn Bella," I heard him mumble.

"Told you I would annoy you."


	5. Randomness!

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while but I've been busy writing My Angel. It's a new fanfic, you should check it out :)  
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Well, I have the book, posters, movies, etc. Yes, I am a twihard, but I guess I'm not Stephenie Meyer now am I? Or am I... Ahhh!  
**

Chapter... uh... idk...

_"I lost... the game! Mwa ha ha!"_

_"Dammit! I forgot about that for 100 years! Now I lost the game!" He exclaimed. "Damn Bella," I heard him mumble._

_"Told you I would annoy you."_

I was at home doing a handstand because I was bored. I had to go upright after a few minutes though, because I was getting dizzy from the blood rushing to my head. Heh... blood... heh... vampire...

My homework was crumpled up along with every other assignment I've ever done in a box in my room. I always got F's! I'm so smarticles!

My computer was smashed up in a corner somewhere because it kept flashing at me and I was getting annoyed. So, I decided to reread twilight. Call me a twihard, but the damn book is about me so I can read it as much as I want! I read the first page... then the second... then the third... etc. I was amazed at the great plot! When I got to the 252nd page. I realized all of the pages were blank. Except the 253rd! It read 'and they all lived happily ever after. But that couldn't be right! I was supposed to beat the crap out of Rosalie and Alice! I ran out of the house, got into my truck, and drove to the Cullen's house.

When I arrived, Alice was at the door waiting.

"Hi Bella, we are goin–"

"Not now Alice." I growled.

I walked in and saw Edward on his piano.

"Dammit Edward! This isn't right! What did you do!" I showed him the 253rd page.

"Nothing..."

"Well then... I love you Edward! Let's go to our meadow and frolic! But before we do that," I pulled out a pencil, then poked him with it. "I stabbed you with a pencil." I giggled. Then we left for the meadow and guess what! He really did sparkle!

"Hey Edward? Are you a diamond?"

"No Bella, I thought you said I was a vampire!"

"What!" I exclaimed frightened. "When did I say that!"

"In chapter 1 of this parody remember? You said 'whats up eddyvamp?'"

"I was just joking you idiot!" Then I slapped him in the face and skipped, merrily, away.

**A/N: Hey guys, just so you know I got the frolicking idea from a youtube video called "Twilight in a nutshell" and the stabbing Edward with a pencil from this really funny twilight parody here on fanfic. I believe it has been deleted but if not please tell me! It has dora rollerblades and Charlie being obsessed with Cedric! Please help!****  
**


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